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Holding onto a Grudge? 3 Ways to Free Yourself from Resentment & Help Your Heart Forgive

Are you struggling to let go of anger and resentment?

On a recent episode of “The Catholic Gentleman,” John Heinen, Sam Guzman, and Devin Schadt shed light on the chains of unforgiveness, offering a path to mercy and reconciliation!

1. Recognize the Control of Unresolved Anger

John says when “anger is controlling you… it seeps into your relationship with family, friends, your children, your spouse” and leads to a state of emotional bondage.

To start healing, they say we must first recognize this hidden control and acknowledge how unresolved anger can dominate our lives.

2. Understand the “Boomerang Effect” of Unforgiveness

Devin explains the boomerang effect of unforgiveness, where the person holding onto the grudge suffers more than the intended target.

He says, “unforgiveness is like giving someone else the poison but dying from it.”

They say this perspective is key to understanding that forgiveness is not just a gift to others, but a crucial step towards self-healing.

3. Move Beyond the Desire for Vengeance

Calling out the destructive desire for vengeance, Devin cautions against wishing harm on others, emphasizing that “this is not the mind of Christ…we have to be very careful about the kind of justice we desire.

Instead, they say we should shift towards understanding and forgiveness as the path to growing in holiness.

The gentlemen share a threefold approach that only aids in overcoming personal grievances, but also fosters a sense of peace and reconciliation with others.

“Ask God first to forgive that person for the wrong they did to you…second, ask God to forgive you for the resentment you have for this person…and then third, ask God to bless that person.” 

In a world increasingly driven by individualism and a lack of empathy, this episode is a timely reminder of the transformative power of forgiveness!

Watch the episode below:

Click here if you cannot see the video above.

Lord, help us forgive! 

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